Recently in one of our online DBT Groups in which we were all reading Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection, we discussed the subject of how sharing our story, our lives, and our business, with people who have not "earned it," is like devaluing our experience. We likened our over disclosure to putting our business on the 99¢ rack instead of protecting it as a much higher valued and precious part of ourselves.
When we struggle with boundary issues, it can be difficult to contain ourselves when a seemingly kind and receptive person is willing to listen to our hardships and struggles. It can be very tempting to "tell all" in the time it takes to wait for a bus with a stranger or at work with colleagues who we then have to face every day going forward. We might regret our choice to tell so much and then be left with a feeling of shame.
The good news is, when we recognize the pattern to over disclose, we can begin working on our boundaries to reduce this behavior. There are a number of DBT skills that can help us be effective at this, and the module of Interpersonal Effectiveness is where we begin to learn how reducing this type of behavior can help us to better enter into and maintain healthy relationships with others.
Do you struggle with boundaries? Do you find it difficult to hold back when tempted to share your story with those who may not appreciate it, respect it, or be able to hold the space that you hope they will? What are some ways you have found help you when feeling this way?
If you'd like to learn more about creating and enforcing healthy boundaries, check out our online Interpersonal Effectiveness course, which starts soon.